“I want love, passion, honesty, and companionship… sex that drives me crazy, and conversation that drives me sane.” – Unknown author
We all want to be loved. Throughout our life, we spend a good deal of time in relationship quandaries and upsets. Does she respect me? Does he love me enough? What will keep our closeness alive? How do we communicate our needs in a way that can be better understood?
Am I enough just as I am? Is she capable of meeting my needs? Can I make him happy while being true to myself? Can I be free to be myself and still be in this relationship? Do I deserve to be loved? Can I have my freedom to explore my own needs, and maintain a committed relationship?
Endlessly we question, evaluate, and discern the truth for ourselves… is it even possible to “make” another person happy? That is the question. I say, not until we fully embrace our own needs and values first.
Many relationships don’t work out well… even after we have invested our heart over time, and have experienced much joy and growth as a result of being together. Angry and resentful endings are happening all the time… but why?
There are so many doubts when it comes to how to love. Our wounds and traumas prevent us from connecting with our own heart and knowingness. Our soul speaks to us, but we must be tuned in and willing to listen to the call. For the soul only knows unconditional love, acceptance, and compassion… guiding us to what is in our highest and best interest.
Can we listen and honor our own inner desires without judgment and blame, and without expectations for someone else to fulfill that for us? Rather, allow the space for authenticity and the truth of who we are?
What I have come to realize is that our pain and heartbreak in relationships comes from our being unaware of our own expectations. It is as though there is a written contract in our heads, so to speak, as to what that person should or will provide.
Could it be that our expectations are holding us back from being able to fully appreciate and “see” the opportunity for awakening and growth that a healthy relationship has to offer?
There is a difference between clearly defined and reasonable expectations and unreasonable expectations that are based on the fear of not having our needs met. Can we define the difference? In my opinion, you are the only one that can decide what is reasonable and unreasonable.
Can we decide what is best for us in relationship, and if necessary, end a relationship without the drama or personality assassinations?
Yes, we can, and we will become saner and more empowered in the process. But first, we need to understand what is lurking underneath our past conditioning and wounds, which can cause us to have unreasonable expectations in our intimate relationships. It is our misperception of the past that causes us to behave in ways where we expect in unreasonable ways.
If we can come face to face with our expectations and not allow our outwardly projected stories to run our romantic show, we have a chance of allowing authentic love to be the guiding force.
Please check out my website www.robinjillian.com or awakenradio.net for past blogs and all of my radio/podcast shows. I would love to hear from you, so feel free to comment. I am here to support you on your journey of awakening.
♡ In love, Robin Jillian “Free the Heart and Evolve the Soul”
Note: I will be preparing a worksheet on reasonable and unreasonable expectations that I believe will help you to discern what that looks like for you. Please look on my website by early July 2019 for that worksheet.