When experiencing really difficult times in life – when you have chosen to “toss” away your old beliefs, and experience a new story… create a new life – choosing to be free to be authentically who you are… there is no way to anticipate how you will respond to the disintegration of you.
You have no control when it comes to knowing the future (duh), and you can only take life one step at a time. For many of us, we like to skip steps so we can get “there” faster. Yes, I admit that sounds a lot like me.
You cannot know who will emerge out of the ethers of your own personal demolition. Sometimes you just have to tread water, while you dissolve the old patterns and ways of behavior that no longer serve you. Time to expand and awaken, you say you are all in.
The takers are few… you are among an elite few who really desire to transform who they are. For those who jump into the fire to reinvent themselves, it is a long and arduous road. It is exhausting and can often times feel hopeless, at least that has been my personal experience.
Fear often times runs the show, but don’t take it to heart.
Can you know deep down that you are truly okay as you go through the process of transformation, even though your thoughts and feelings may tell you that you are tainted and flawed? As you see the grotesque image of your former self falling away, it is very difficult to know you are truly okay.
There is no easy way to reinvent yourself, and as Carl Jung says “There is no coming to consciousness without pain.”
The trick or the difficulty, depending on how you look at it, becomes how you assess what makes you okay in your own eyes.
It is necessary to become mindful of your thoughts and feelings while inviting a healthy dose of truth through perspective and objectivity. Time to make friends with the demons that have been hiding out all along.
Are you acceptable to you with your new awareness?
We have many expectations about our behaviors. Could it be that rather than place expectations upon yourself, you just allow yourself to be who you are? Can you love all that you are in spite of the self-defeating stories you are telling yourself?
It is very difficult to accept yourself if you are constantly judging yourself as “wrong,” lacking, or inadequate, don’t you think?
While you are metamorphosing into the new you, and you demand or expect that you behave with no self-doubt or fear as you enter the world of “I don’t have the slightest clue who I am,”… you will drive yourself nuts.
Can you see that what you are doing is setting yourself up for constant pain and heartbreak? Can you allow yourself to heal and return to a state of balance and wholeness while you are beating yourself up?
The answer is you cannot.
Be patient and have faith. You grow as fast as you grow, there is no telling how long it will take to reach the top of the magic bean stock. You can only intend to reach beyond your current limitations, recognize the demons, and then allow spirit to take you to your new destination.
Patience and gratefulness for what you do have in your life will help to keep you centered while your travel clothes get dirty and torn.
Love yourself and dare to follow your dream of a greater “you”. That is what you are alive to do. Trust.
With love, Robin Jillian
For more about Robin, please check out www.robinjillian.com and awakenradio.net for radio/podcast shows or to learn about her book, Hugging Trees in the Dark: Finding the Courage to Free the Heart.